On Sunday, May 2nd my good friend Lindsay had a baby girl named June, on Monday I took Charlie to the hospital to visit her. She is gorgeous! When you hold a new baby and look at your 'baby' you realize how much they've actually grown when you weren't paying attention. Charlie looked HUGE compared to June...and, for a second, she also looked like a big sister...and it reallllly got me thinkin', (this week) I'd love to give Charlie a baby brother or a baby sister. She was looking at baby June so adoringly it just melted me. I'm just sorry it takes so long to actually make and build another baby because our time together is limited. That and I'm afraid of another child having SMA or taking care of a high needs child and having a newborn or possibly missing and mourning Charlie while being pregnant/having a needy newborn. It's just a really big decision to make...so, Matt and I have a lot of talking and thinking to do.
The nurse is here right now, she's watching Charlie in the living room while I write this. I just got back from the gym and Matt is there right now as well. We are having a friendly fitness competition with one another, biggest loser style, because we realize that we need to be fit to not only be healthy, but to take care of Charlie. The heavier and taller and more flaccid Charlie becomes, the more difficult it is to carry and maneuver her...its like trying to pick up and hold 5 liters of uncontained water with arms and legs. We are constantly trying to think of comfortable solutions for her. She's outgrowing her 'TV chair' and she's only got about a month or 2 left in her carseat and special bathtub, and she's almost too long for her stroller....Charlie is soooo tall! We have an appointment with a place called Sunnyhill soon so that we can figure out what we need in way of replacements for all of these items.
Because we are using Charlie's g-tube more often (about 3 or 4 times a day) we are still trying to figure out a balance between how much nursing and how much g-tubing to do. Two weeks ago Charlie lost a couple of ounces so we were informed that we should give her a little more formula through the g-tube, so we did, and in 6 days she gained over a pound. Too much, too fast! I watched an episode of Geraldo once and it was about men who like their ladies big and they would feed them a couple 1 liters of creamo on a daily basis and watch them grow, all pleased with themselves...I kinda felt like that when we were told her weight this week. It's difficult to tell how much she's getting when she's nursing and then we are injecting food into her as well, and she's still too little to tell us when she's full...I feel like I'm pumping her full like a bike tire and could use a gauge to know when to stop. So, we're going to ease up this week and see what happens.
Charlie just fell asleep watching the Anne Murray special I TIVO'd the other day, and the nurse is going soon. I'm going to get ready and we're going to take a seawall walk and go for a picnic at the beach. It's only been two days but it feels weird having Matt home during the days now. Everyday feels like Sunday, and I like it!