Well, we made it...she made it...to one, one year old! And how did we celebrate it? We started it off with a bang...literally. Well actually, a series of four shots...in the arm, for measles and rubella and whatever other types of illness' that could pose a risk to Charlie and ruin her future. Almost seems ridiculous to put her through all of that just to avoid the small chance that she may contract something so rare, when it's the common cold, lurking in every room and around every corner, that's the real enemy. But, we did it anyway, because let's just say that we feel rare isn't as rare to us as it is to most people. We bought a lottery ticket this past Friday because the jackpot was 50 million, hoping that our 'luck' might just work the other way around...but nope, not this time.
After Charlie's shots we went grocery shopping and dad and Char picked out a birthday balloon. Charlie was more than pleased with this gift, as were we when we got to the car and realized Charlie had just shoplifted for her first time...forgetting to hand it over to us at the till to ring it through! Oops! Our little criminal. So cute! My friend Sarah came over with her super sweet 3 year old daughter Ella after and I took a few pics of Charlie and Ella in some party hats. Then we went to meet our friend Dana and Kim's new baby boy Beckett and their almost 3 year old son Nolan, and drank some champy and ate cake to celebrate the birthday(s). All and all a pretty lovely, low key first birthday. We will do the real celebrating this Sunday at Charlie's big birthday bash.
For a while, I honestly never thought we'd make it here. To one year old. It really is a very special milestone to us. When Charlie was first diagnosed we were told she probably only had a few months to live because she had spiraled down so fast between 4 to 6 months of age. I remember thinking I was just going to suck the life out of the next few months and never take one second for granted and just inhale every second with Charlie and make it last forever and ever. But the second one tries to stop time, it slips through your fingers faster than ever. It seems to actually speed up, running ahead of you, just beyond your grasp. So, I stopped doing that and just decided to let things be, and to let time pass. I'm not sure if I just started pretending it wasn't happening or if I just got used to what was happening. Either way, it works much better for me. I've been planning this birthday for over two months, knowing that it would be a miracle if we made it here, but expecting nothing less at the same time. Charlie is our angel. Way stronger than she looks, and as I've told the doctors, "not ready to go anytime soon."
Sometimes I pick Charlie up and I take her to the full length mirror in our room to get a good look at the two of us cuddling (I've noticed Matt doing this as well). Lately when I do this I'm almost always shocked at how big she's gotten and at how much she's changed...she's not a baby anymore...she's a little girl! You know when you look at a friends baby/childhood pictures and you can totally see them in the little kid you see in the picture? Well, that's what I can see in Charlie now, but the other way around. I can see her as an 8 year old, and a 12 year old. It's amazing! But, if I think about it too much it can really affect me and bum me out.
I'm/we're so lucky to have her. A real little doll, a real little princess, a real little lady. A really BIG blessing and a life changer! I love you Charlie! Happy 1st birthday! Love, Mama. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo