Friday, September 14, 2012

A very happy un-birthday to you Charlie!

(My little lady, Sept 2012)

A couple of weeks ago I realized that I'd forgotten to write Charlie's monthly birthday posts the past few months. At first I was hard on myself for forgetting, concerned that I was getting lazy and taking Charlie's time here for granted, but when I pondered over it some more I came to the conclusion that 'forgetting' her monthly birthday posts was actually a good thing. I'm not forgetting how special she is or taking Charlie's time here for granted, i'm enjoying it and believing more and more everyday that she has years left in her, not just the months we were initially told she had when she was diagnosed. It took 2 1/2 years to get here, and I'm finally able to relax a litttttle bit...a little bit.

Just when I jumped that hurdle though, another one took its place...I used to (and often still will) worry about keeping Charlie safe and alive, and now I'm worrying about making her life as full as possible...with school, friends, experiences etc. Today we went to the park. I pulled Charlie out of her stroller on my lap, and onto the swing. As we were swinging, Charlie grinning from ear to ear, 4 children surrounded us. They started asking questions...a lot of questions. "Where does she eat from?" "Why?" "Can she walk?" "Will she ever get better?" "What's that machine for?" "Does she have a dad?" "Why do her front teeth stick out?" "The way you hold her, she looks like a puppet." That last one stung.  One of the little girls looked absolutely devastated when she heard that Charlie would never walk, her eyebrows furrowed and her big brown eyes instantly dropped towards the pavement and you could see that it was the worst thing she'd ever heard...her reaction broke my heart all over again too. I answered all the questions as best I could, knowing that all the kids meant well, but I still needed a good cry. The second I got home and my apartment door had closed behind me the tears flowed. Rough stuff. 

Tomorrow is the Canuck Place Adventure Challenge. I'm really looking forward to it. Once I'm in that environment and I am reminded of all the little miracle children and angel children that have come into my/our lives, my perspective will shift again. Every now and then I need a little shoulder shake, and anything Canuck Place usually does that for me!
Charlie and 'Charlie's Angels' thank you for your support!!
Watch Global news 9am tomorrow, we're being interviewed from Deep Cove before the race.

And, if you haven't, join the 'Charlie's Angels' Facebook page!